Why don't you swallow a handful of someone else's pills?
It will solve all of my problems and cure all your ills

Take the little red capsules . . . that relieve your tension
Take the little white tablets . . . that prevent conception
Take the little black beauties . . . sure to make you thin
And wash 'em all down with a bottle of gin!

Cross my heart and hope to die
I'll lay pennies on your eyes
Tag your toe for all to see
DOA, RSVP

There ain't no two ways about it
There ain't no two ways about it
There ain't no two ways about it
You're gonna die!

And when you swallow a handful of someone else's pills
Just remember everybody who told you suicide kills

But you took a little more valium . . . you took a little more speed
You took a little more Darvon . . . but you never took heed
You took a little getting used to . . . with everything you were on
And now I'm getting used to the fact that you're gone!

Cross your arms and lay to rest
I'll lay lillies on your chest
Shake my head at your disgrace
While they throw dirt on your face

There ain't no two ways about it
There ain't no two ways about it
There ain't no two ways about it
You're gonna die!

There ain't no two ways about it
No two ways about it
No two ways about it
You're gonna die!